I think this part of the Blogging University is where I need to be super objective and look over all the wonderful background stat stuff and see whats popular and what-not.
The most popular post on this blog; throughout the many years it has been this one. I know it’s because of the Dark Heresy resource on it! Other popular posts are generally centred on Warhammer and hobby related activities – I think that this could be that it’s a popular ‘thing’ anyway. There are a lot of hobbiests out there and it’s awesome seeing what others do and being able to share my own stuff and have people interested in it is really nice.
When it comes to tags and categories though, it’s art. Which makes me the happiest ever! So, I am thinking that the direction of the blog should be art and hobby related. There are some posts and categories I have on the side bar that I’ve not used/posted under for a good few months, so I might have to have a bit of a spring clean and remove some of them – and expand on the ones that I have left! Like, Movie Reviews (July 2016) clearly, I’m not so into that anymore and because it’s not adding a great deal to the blog, I don’t think it’s really needed anymore. Video Gaming (March 2017) is also in a similar boat! As is Writing (Feb 2017) so there are some options for streamlining there.
Some input on this would be wonderful!
When you come to my blog, what is it you come to read? What is it you look for?
Incidentally, the most commented on stuff if stuff from my personal life and drama!
I’ve had a bit of an internet relapse lately. I thought if I reintroduced myself to websites slowly, that things would be okay.
But, in actual fact, I don’t think they are. Spending too much time on them again. This time, I don’t know what to do about it. I’ve been enjoying the drawing prompts and getting ideas off other people, but I don’t feel like I am in control of the ‘moderation’ aspect of my internet use anymore.
Is it time to step away again already and just come back to this place? I feel like an alcoholic going back to the bottle. I enjoy it while I am doing it, but am filled with regret for it afterwards.
Either way, I feel like I am being controlled by things online again, so I’m going to try and just do some drawings – start on the next Primarch in the series, maybe just do a few small critter doodles and get on with life away from this-here-internet again.
It’s only been a few weeks since I drew anything like this and I already feel well out of practise.
But here we are, some fan art for Inquisitor Jenn and Heretic Deb who are characters over on Abaddon and Teal
I know it’s not my best work, but it felt nice to draw something Hobby related again after the few Primarchs I drew – which I will resume when I am feeling less ‘out of practise’
There is another thought to add to this post though and I hate to drag down a gift-art post, but it’s sorta, maybe relevant?
Since picking things back up here and getting back into the hobby full swing, I’ve honestly questioned myself. For a while I wanted to be seen as a credible and ‘real’ artist. But, what does that even mean? Am I less of an artist because I draw characters in the way that I do? I think it speaks volumes the amount of time I’ve been drawing characters; it’s something that I always return to and yet, I’ve always held this overwhelming sense of shame with it – maybe because I know there are a lot better people out there at it than I am. But, does that matter? Clearly, this is where my soul keeps returning.
Sure, I like painting and dabbling in other things, but try as I might to deny myself the chance to draw characters, I return to it. Always. There has to be something in that?
Then there is that ‘elephant in the room’ does everything have to come down to money?
If I am happy drawing characters, why am I trying to replace it with something else?
I hope you’re all recovered from eating too much chocolate and drinking too much alcohol!
We are now back into the usual routine of Toddler Group in the mornings, thankfully, and blogging in the early afternoon while my son sleeps. Or in the evening while he sleeps.
Things have changed a little bit around here since the end of 2017. I voiced my concerns with the internet as a whole and my use of it in my previous post and for a while I made my blog private and hid everything from view. But, after some thinking I have decided to keep the blog about and keep on updating.
But as I just mentioned, I have made a few changes. I’ve made a dedicated Abstract art blog called Art Enlightenment and a dedicated book ‘review’ blog called The Eternal Bookcase. This is so that I can have special places for these two aspects of my interests. For a while, I was left wondering what I could use this blog for. I know I have often been confused while updating this blog because I don’t really know it’s purpose.
But then I was wondering about with Marcus and thinking about some things that were once pretty important to me and realised that I no longer have an outlet for them. Hobby stuff, like Wargaming, Roleplaying and Video gaming. But more than that a personal space to write down and vent my thoughts. Really the inner workings of an over-thinker and generally the additional parts of my personality that make me… me.
So I figured I should use this blog, as well as for my hobbies, but also for my unpopular opinions and somewhere to write down what I am thinking and how I am feeling.
I am not sure quite how I feel about running three different blogs as I’ve struggled with it in the past, but there is no harm in giving it a try. I know the book ‘review’ blog is more of an ‘as and when’ I finish a book update deal. The painting I am trying to keep going as much as possible. As for this place, I need to go through my categories and have a good old fashioned spring clean (Remove the book reviews stored here over to The Eternal Bookcase) and just generally get back into the swing of things again.
I took a step back from the internet – I’ve always had some sort of presence on social media – when my Husband finished work for the Christmas break on the 15th of December. I was using some websites pretty avidly in the month or so before this date and honestly, I was feeling like it was taking over my life (again)
The break has been welcome and now I am looking over my actions with hindsight I can see how badly I was using the internet and social media; I was in the grips of addiction. The decision to take a step back was both welcome and eye-opening.
I took a quick peep on my dA account while I was writing this post; as that’s the place that I have been most active and it’s all doom and gloom. People threatening to kill themselves over (honestly) the dumbest stuff ever and all I want to do is scream at them to get a grip! I think, in part, it’s because that now I am a bit older I don’t really feel like I fit in with the younger people on there these days. Where issues like, Apu from the Simpsons suddenly being outed as a racist character, seem to be more relevant and important to discuss than third world poverty. Or where the ability to pick and choose ones gender on a whim seems more un/acceptable than the so-called rape culture we live in. I am generalising for emphasis here; but these are the things that I was encountering daily on the wider internet. And also being labelled a stalker for reading the pages of another persons blog – surely, that is what a blog is for? Reading?
Needless to say, it all just became too much and the decision to leave it all behind was a welcome one.
But, what am I thinking of now that I am in the midst of this break? I’ve used the internet to define a large part of who I am for a very long time. Websites, like DeviantArt have been the platform for my voice and my art for the past 14 years – longer than some of it’s users have been alive – so I have been left to do a serious amount of thinking. If I leave these social media sites behind me I know I will overall be happier and leave a more fulfilling life and I won’t be carrying around this addiction anymore. Yet, I would cut off some people I have known for a very long time, people I see as good friends and some of the only social interaction I get sometimes. I know I’d hear a lot less from some important people in my life – to the point where I doubt I would hear from them at all.
Do I stay in a place that ultimately isn’t good for me, but gives me a platform to express my creativity and gives me contact with people. Or, do I use the internet and the social platforms I have to keep in touch with people and express my creativity at the expense of my mental health?
I can see pros and cons for either side of the argument and I am thankful that I have enough time to ponder the conundrum for a while longer before the husband returns to work and I am left more or less alone with these thoughts.
I am thinking that there must be a healthy medium somewhere, but considering how the internet feels like an addiction surely using just one website (including my blog) is like an alcoholic or drug addict saying ‘One won’t hurt?’
Looks like Photovember fizzled out for me; but I lasted longer than I thought I would.
It wasn’t for lack of enjoyment of taking photographs again, but more for the fact that it seemed so.. pointless. The aim was to introduce people to the world that I live in, but all I discovered that was I don’t stray much further than a 2 mile radius from my house. I go to toddler groups (where I wouldn’t take the camera anyway) and the local park; which, as wonderful as it is, I don’t think would make for great viewing for a whole month.
The other thing I realised was that I put more time and effort into drawing than anything else. It’s something that I rarely even think about posting up on here; unless I’ve not posted for several days/months and I really feel like I should post something. Anything!
Maybe I should change that, make the blog a hub for my characters and drawings as much as my deviantart account is?
I’ll schedule some stuff up and see how we get along.
I think there is some sort of ‘fear’ about opening myself up with my usual sort of art. It’s safe over on devArt, because I’ve been there so long and it’s what I know and the people I am friends with over there know me through my anthro/furry art. Here, it’s like opening up to the world; combining my ‘lives’ all together, but I think it’s time for me to do so.
Especially after realising that photography isn’t in me like it used to be – I draw this sort of thing very day, (more or less) and have done since 2003; so I really shouldn’t feel so concerned with opening up a bit more about it now. Who knows, putting it on my website might open up a few more doors for me.
It’s been a while since I posted something that wasn’t a Space Marine picture, so I thought I would share what I have been up too.
It has mostly involved my characters Wars and Beee and their little project.
I’ve mostly been neglecting the two of them but somehow they have just made themselves heard and known again and I have been sketching them up again. Mostly through the help of internet “drawing meme’s.” I’ve had this feeling lately that a lot of my character artwork suffers from ‘same face syndrome’ so using the suggestions from memes has been a welcome change as
well as a fun challenge. One that I am hoping to keep going with these two characters.
Though I did have a bit of a questioning moment while walking home from baby group today. What’s the point of it all? I’ve had these characters for over ten years now and I’ve not done anything with them other than draw them and have others from them for me. What’s the use in that? I’m not telling a story or making a political statement with them.
Then I came to the highly enlightening conclusion of ‘So what?’ What does it matter that their story will never be told; because I feel I lack the talent for webcomics (in both writing and artistic sense) So what if I never do anything with them other than draw them because it’s what I am currently enjoying doing. If that is only answering asks that I get for them over on their tumblr blog. I think these days there is too much emphasis on trying to make a statement or be special in some way, I think any level of fame would actually do my
head in and put me off doing something – it would certainly take the enjoyment out of it! Look at that Aliens fanfiction I was doing. I got an amazing, blinding review on it; then couldn’t cope with the pressure of being ‘that good’ at the rest of the fiction, so I never bothered with the second chapter.
I think, as long as I am getting enjoyment out of something, then it’s worth doing. Why overthink things?
I am just happy that my boys have finally decided to come home again and give me another chance. If they only stay a week or so, then so be it. If they stay longer (which I really hope they do) then I’ll be all the happier.
Regardless, I’ll share the sketches and other artworks I get on here (if I remember) and use their tumblr for other details as well, like answering asks, sharing visual things that remind me of them and their
world. You know, usual tumblr blog stuff!
I think the real test will be next week, as I am away from home. I find a change in location and company always changes the way you’re thinking, be it intentional or not. I have often found that something I was really into at the beginning of the week, or before leaving home, I am less inclined to think about when going back home. Different surroundings and company lead to different thought patterns.
Still, I hope you like what I have had to share today and I look forward to sharing a few more sketches with you all soon.