A little delayed

I had a bit of a knock recently, and as always I thought I would come here and talk a bit about it.

When it happened, I sort of just shrugged it all off and laughed about it but as the day went on it got too me a bit more.

I had someone leaving abusive messages on my profile and artwork on DeviantArt. Why. Because I didn’t answer their questions about my characters Vagina.

I’d been talking to the guy on and off for a little while, but the notes asking about my Fursona we’re a little invasive (To say the least) and when I didn’t answer his messages right away he flipped his lid and took it out on me.

There are a few more comments, but you get the general idea.

I don’t know if dA admins took action when I reported the guy or if he deactivated his account in order to avoid repercussions for his actions; but everyone I have spoken to about this has taken it pretty seriously. Especially the part where he threatened to “Beat the fucking shit out of me,” and should he use another account to contact me then I’d certainly be tempted to follow up on their recommendations of taking this beyond simple admins and to legal authorities – how much they can do I don’t know seeing as I don’t take the threats seriously, with that person being in the US. I doubt they could afford to buy a McDonalds cheeseburger, let alone a ticket to the UK and the means to track me down.

Anyway, they’re a real “tough guy” beating up a woman whose only exercise is chasing after a two year old.

That aside, it really made me question if I am doing the right thing. I’ve recently been taking on a few commissions and having a mild measure of success with it. But, if opening up to other sources releases me to these types of people, do I really want too? It’s hurtful, just because someone is bored they lash out. But, I’ve not given up on the things I enjoy in the past 15 years of drawing, just because someone said or did something hurtful or because they didn’t want me too anymore.

With a lot of these types of people – the ones that want to start drama over pretty much nothing – I assume their opinion is what it is because they’re jealous, can’t control what I am doing or have nothing better to do. Their opinion and comments on me/my art/what I’m doing is moot.

In closing

Get a hobby. A real one. Not one that makes you look like an idiot on the internet!

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Bury Photographic Society

On the 6th of September I made my first appearance at Bury Photographic Society, so I guess that means I am a bit more serious about growing this whole ‘photography thing’ after all!

It was a bit of an eye-opener, that left me with a conflicted mixture of inspired and intimidated; the meeting was a display of Hoylake Photographic Societies international exhibition – so the images we were shown really were the ‘best of the best.’

Although I had a great time at the society and everyone I spoke to was really warm and welcoming, I admit, I left the meeting feeling a little disheartened – I must stress, not because of the member or the society itself – but due to my own inner critic telling me that ‘I’ll never be that good’ or even ‘I have no place amongst such fine photographers’ It is folly! I have as much right to be there as anyone else, just because I am starting off on my journey doesn’t mean I have to shy away from the good and the great!

More so though, I found myself wondering what direction I can take my photography in? I am currently exploring through the means of Warhammer Models because that is my current interest; I can fit it in between my childs sleeping. But, what are my deeper interests? These are the questions that I feel I should try and answer – for myself if for no other reason.

I think this is what is so wonderful about going out to new places and experiencing new things; exposing yourself to other influences. They force you to ask different questions of yourself. I was happy in my comfort zone, now I am wondering how to get to the next level. I figure I need to get my camera out again and have another play!

Personal Thoughts

While I was doing some painting earlier – of the decorating sort, not the hobby sort – I came across the realisation that I’ve let other people influence who I am and what I am doing.

I have put off personal project for an unwarranted ‘fear’ of upsetting people. I’ve let other peoples paranoia dictate what I am doing. A turn of phrase here or a surname there and I’ve had the finger of ‘You’re staling from me’ influence projects that I have had with me; but unworked upon for many years. My fears have been pushed the a point because the fingers come from people that once inspired me and that I looked up too – and coming to the realisation that they’ve got nothing on me has taken a long time.

This is the internet; look up these terms on google and you don’t get the people that I’ve been running scared from; you get DnD character builds or Film directors, infamous brothers, alcoholic beverages or things along those lines.

Even this more recent ‘fear’ of being completely overwhelmed by someone has had me changing what I am doing. And the stupid thing is, I was actually happy running along with my characters and projects before these things came along and sucked the enjoyment out of it – to the point (with furry at least) I don’t feel like I can ever enjoy it in the same way again; at least it feels that way at the moment.

I was scared. I am still scared sometimes, to think about certain cahracters and projects, and for what? Some idiot o the otehr side of a PC screen pointing fingers and throwing hissy fits cause they can’t see past their own noses?
I shouldn’t have let the things I enjoy be tainted by outside influences; not ones that can’t really do me any harm. I’m not interested enough in silly internet high-school bullshit; point your fingers, call me whatever the hell you like – no longer am I going to stop doing the things I enjoy just because other people want me too or are to self centred or paranoid that they think everything is theirs in the first place.

Sorry I have been a bit neglectful when it comes to posting on here.

I want it to be because I’ve been mindlessly busy since moving – which to a certain extent I have been, but I also think it’s because I’ve been hiding too. Having thoughts that I wanted to try and figure out before I started posting here again. There was an absolutely massive focus on my art before I moved house; and after too – but I ‘crashed’ today.

I hit my limit and just feel like detaching from everything anthro and furry; yet at the same time, I don’t want to because most of my following is from the furry fandom. Yet, as always when I try and get into anthro/furry stuff something comes along to put me off. And it’s usually the same thing; ungrateful turds that just want to use and abuse, get something for free or act like an absolute arsehole to people while egotistically claiming they are an “Art Messiah.”

It’s my own fault, like always, for trying to get closer to people and build my own sort of following on websites like DevArt or Tumblr. It’s either too much because I seem to attract people I’d rather not; or it’s a reminder that ‘Fiction is better than reality’

I wish I could be the sort of person that could upload and share art to a website; like dA, and be content with that. Not interact with people or even try to make ‘friends’ just, share and go. I might have to give it a try. Upload something; log off and move on? Because I can’t keep going on the way I am; it’s draining and stupid!

I’ve thought a bit about it this afternoon before writing this. I’ll always love anthro/furry art; it’s home so I’ll never stop drawing it completely. That and Warhammer 40K doesn’t have enough Tits and Ass for me too really enjoy for the long term. Space Marine Pin Ups can only get me so far and really, my biggest following is for the anthro stuff. It’s a bit of a conundrum really.

 

My own biggest fan – series.

The My Own Biggest Fan series of posts on here are something I have enjoyed doing in the past, and are something I would love to pick up again.

It’s basically where I get to talk about my own characters and how they have changed and developed over the time that I have had them.

I’m wondering if this is a topic anyone would be interested in reading about? Making up a category and seeing what I can put in it and who to write about, etc. I’ve just felt that lately, I’ve been a bit on the quiet side and have just been posting pictures rather than saying anything and it might be a good way to get a conversation going again.

What do you think?

Sorry things have been a little quite on the talking front on here the past few days. My son hasn’t been feeling very well and to be honest, I don’t always know what to say about my pictures when I share them.

I always felt like I should be this ultra chatty person, because this is a blog and it’s for sharing opinions on, right?

But, constantly finding something to say about my pictures – which are all essentially pin-ups and very similar in content – isn’t easy.

I feel like I should say something, cause it all feels a little flat at the moment, but there we go. I’d love to answer questions or something like that, but in order to do so, I need to get them!

Maybe… talk a bit about the characters that I post about? Which would work, if I was sharing pictures of my own characters. I’ll have to have a bit of a draft and see what I can think up.

Blogging Branding – You want what!?

Hello again everyone.

I think this part of the Blogging University is where I need to be super objective and look over all the wonderful background stat stuff and see whats popular and what-not.

The most popular post on this blog; throughout the many years it has been this one. I know it’s because of the Dark Heresy resource on it! Other popular posts are generally centred on Warhammer and hobby related activities – I think that this could be that it’s a popular ‘thing’ anyway. There are a lot of hobbiests out there and it’s awesome seeing what others do and being able to share my own stuff and have people interested in it is really nice.

When it comes to tags and categories though, it’s art. Which makes me the happiest ever! So, I am thinking that the direction of the blog should be art and hobby related. There are some posts and categories I have on the side bar that I’ve not used/posted under for a good few months, so I might have to have a bit of a spring clean and remove some of them – and expand on the ones that I have left! Like, Movie Reviews (July 2016) clearly, I’m not so into that anymore and because it’s not adding a great deal to the blog, I don’t think it’s really needed anymore. Video Gaming (March 2017) is also in a similar boat! As is Writing (Feb 2017) so there are some options for streamlining there.

Some input on this would be wonderful!
When you come to my blog, what is it you come to read? What is it you look for?

Incidentally, the most commented on stuff if stuff from my personal life and drama!