Prompt – Secret

I confess, I’ve been roleplaying online again.

I have had more than my fair share of gripes about this particular activity in the past. I’ve been put off that some of the worst people in a roleplaying community than you can think of.
Overly dramatic people that take everything to seriously.
People that don’t know how to keep their hands on their own characters and leave yours well alone.
Over powered original characters
Boring one liners

You get the picture.

So I was really reluctant to give everything yet another go. But I am glad I took the leap of faith. Firstly, I am writing as a character that I have connected with – which took me a long time to find, believe you me! They are a character that has featured on my blog before now. And I am getting a flood of storylines in which makes me very happy indeed. More so I have been complimented on roleplaying this character – which makes me feel wonderful.

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I just didn’t want this aspect ofmy life to me this big secret thing – I’ve always shied away from telling people that I write storylines with other creative people, like it’s something to be really ashamed of.

Roleplaying as Thor reminds me a lot of roleplaying as my old Norse badger charcater, Frey. They are pretty similar in mentality, Thor just has a bit more to him to make him interesting to write. Only thing is you have to get pretty damned good at describing Thunderstorms! I think the other thing that has helped me overcome the whole worrying about roleplaying is that the Marvel community over on roleplayer.me (Where I RP) is really friendly and welcoming to new people.
I don’t know how long I will be roleplaying like this for, considering my irritations mentioned above and in previous posts, but I hope it’ll last for a while yet.

And if I get any really juicy stories, I’ll share them with you!

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I want to talk to you about Roleplay.

Roleplaying is something that I have done for over half of my life. Once upon a time it actually meant more to me than my real life did. It was the wonderfully, perfect escape that I needed at that point in my life. I could be the most handsome man ever and be the best prince that I could ever be for my wonderful princess!

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It was wonderful. More importantly, it was good fun. It helped me to feel connected to people that I cared deeply for that I could never be with. Mostly, it was just that escape that I needed. It got me away from a boring day job, out of a relationship that I had no real passion for and away from the dull monotony of everyday. I needed it then.

I don’t need it now.

Now, try as I might I just can’t seem to find my spark for it anymore.

I’ve tried several times to rekindle my passion for writing with other people and sharing storylines, but it’s just not happening. It’s not even the fact that I get so bored with it after just a few sessions. Now, I can’t even be arsed to do those few sessions because I know that the fire isn’t inside me anymore.

I would rather attempt to spend my time rekindling other passions – getting back into my personal writing or drawing or even 3D rendering.
But there is more to it than just my lack of passion. I don’t need it anymore. I don’t need to escape from a job I dislike, because I am working on my own business now and I really enjoy it. My life doesn’t suck so bad that I need a departure from it into somewhere else; anytime I need to escape I would rather read a book. I’m not in a relationship that I feel trapped in. Everyday I do something for myself in other ways, be it drawing something, playing a game (Or more recently walking the dog and playing with him)

I guess this is a journal to say that really, I am and have moved on from the pretending to be someone else.
It’s time to be myself for once.
Do things for myself.

7zXHofEtransBecause, mostly the people that want RP, are selfish.
The other day, I was RPing on Frey. I stated that I had to head off for a while because my new puppy needed some attention. So the person I was RPing just emoted to me “:crates puppy.”
Wait?
You expect me to put my puppy in a cage for longer than he deserves just so I can carry on writing some stupid shit over the internet with you?
Bah. No thanks. I’d prefer to play with my puppy!!

Maybe I’ve been on the internet for too long and am cynical?

But I’ve also noticed that a lot of people who roleplay have problems. Either health or mental problems. I’m not saying each and every one of these people is lying, but not everyone I talk to has problems surely!? Apparently, they do! Some sort of issue or another. Things that just seem as an excuse for all their lives problems or why they can’t do things.
“I lost my passwords, I can’t spell, I failed school,” etc
I just get fed up of hearing other peoples crappy. bullshit excuses.

So, yeah.
I don’t think I will be attempting the whole Online Roleplaying thing for a while. For many reasons.
I’ll stick to my Tuesday night tabletop stuff thanks.
It’s more interesting and I don’t hear bollocks excuses all night.

It’s win, win!!

In the land of fangirling not much has really been going on.
I’ve mostly been concerned with my own characters, but even than at a much subdued note than normal. It’s a little strange to feel so quiet. I’ve toyed with the idea of doing some more writing, but sadly my artwork has really been taking up pride and place of everything at the moment.

I always enjoy looking through my referring searches over here on fangirl.biz, they bring up all sorts of memories for me.
Though, seeing Captain Rhodes Day of the Dead Fanfiction in the bunch this time sent shivers down my spine. It’s good to know he is still out there haunting me.

As for Roleplaying, I’ve not done any written roleplay in a very long time. I’ve tried, but I just can’t seem to get anything to stick and you know what. I don’t feel bad about it anymore either, I like the tabletop stuff I do far, far more. I didn’t think I would connect with characters that I didn’t write about, but that’s not true. Even the Pathfinder character I RP as has been great fun; but that’s probably my Orc weakness showing!

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We’re playing a game called Etherscope (Or about to anyway) and I am very happy to brag about the fact that our GM is Ben Redmond… if you don’t know who that is in connection to Etherscope then you need a slap!
I am excited about playing it actually – not only because our GM is pretty much amazing, but because of the character I’ve managed to come up with.
Royan, an Ether-Psychic who has a talent with talking to the dead/spirits. While on the outside owns a wonderfully weird shock of curiosities, apparently filled with bad Taxidermy and a little lab to make drugs out of the dignity of Leptard. 
Personal in-jokes aside, I’ve been anting to try out Etherscope for a while, so am looking forward to it. 😀

In personal news, I am getting married soon so I am mostly getting prepared for the big day on the 11th of October. 

I’ve been toying with the idea of writing some of my own fictions as well, like I have ideas for off-shoot stories connected with Sea of Souls, but you know should probably get the first one written first – but if just add-libbing and entire story really the best way to go about things? I mean, I’ve shotgunned my way through fictions before, but they’ve been personal… actually so is Sea of Souls, but yanno.

I should just write, and write some more! Cause, that’s how things get written. Like, stop worrying about it Jenn and just do it.