Love don’t live here anymore

I put something on my twitter yesterday.

Tweet

And I feel like I should talk about it a bit more.

You see, art has been one of the biggest things in my life. I love looking at artwork and encouraging others; I love how art can light up the most dull of rooms and I love how art used to make me feel.

It was after I’d worked on my paintings that the same afterward feeling of art hit me. That sadness that ‘everything I do looks terrible and makes me feel like shit’ feeling that I have spoken about before.

I was watching my son playing in his sandpit when this feeling hit me. And it was at that moment I felt like I couldn’t put myself through this anymore. I couldn’t carry on feeling like a fraud, calling myself an artist when in fact everything about art no makes me feel stressed, anxious and pretty much awful about myself.

In fine art, I am using the techniques that I have been taught or shown by other people. In my character art, I use reference pictures for poses. I used to feel that art lit up my soul, but I can’t get in deep enough anymore to find that light. I once drew my characters everyday, but now I barely think about them. And as for artistic heroes; I found more inspiration in my friends artwork than any other source. I used to dread the ‘Who is your biggest influence?‘ Question at University, cause it’s not exactly credible to shrug your shoulders and say, “My friend Gwen.”

It was a horrible realisation to come across.

It hurts me that I had this ‘thing’ that I used to enjoy, but feel so withdrawn from in every way possible. I have faced art block before and been able to drag myself through it. So I know it’s nothing as simple as that. I have faced burn out before and I can’t say it’s that either.

I want to enjoy art and I want to love her again, but right now I just feel completely and utterly dejected with her; like she is this great thing that everyone loves and feels a passion for, but mine is completely gone.

New paintings? 

I managed to get out in the garden this morning and do some painting. It’s been a fair while since I did anything creative like this, so it was good fun again.

It involves a lot of water and making a mess, so the husband will probably be mortified when I tell him what I have been up too! 

What I enjoy about this process is the fact that it can be so quick and still produce some good results. It can be a bit hit and miss because it involves spraying water over paint and then waiting to see what happens! Sometimes a canvas turns out brilliantly and looks really good and well blended. Other times it turns into a horrible mess and you just end up either having to white wash the canvas or throwing it away.

A couple of these are looking rather promising already – but I’ll have to see what happens when nature takes its course during the drying phase! It’s a big part of why I paint outside; other than to avoid the mess of paint on the carpets, but seeing what that days weather does to the drying paint. It only takes the smallest breeze to push the paint in a way that wasn’t expected. Which is why the wet WIP pictures can look so different to the finished pieces.


I think the darker of the pictures will need some reworking and probably another layer or two to cover the canvas texture, but the other two are looking rather promising so far.

What do you all think? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts. 

Friday Feature – Dawby’s Doodles and Dithering

Hi Gang,

I am really excited to actually be able to write my first Friday Feature.

I approached Dawby via their twitter account – I don’t know if you can actually IM on WordPress – and asked if I could feature them on my blog, and excitingly, they’ve agreed! So bare with me if this feature is a little ropey, it’s the first one I’ve written for this blog (And hopefully the first of many)

img_1989-1Everything I appreciate about art is displayed in Dawby’s blog! That might come across as a strange statement, saying someone else’s blog something that sum up how I feel about art, but it’s so true here. If I could start my own artistic journey again, I would find absolutely no shame in following in her footsteps – and I feel absolutely wonderful to be able to see their artwork growing and the ideas that they have and share with us. Once
upon a time, I started a Masters Course in Design and Art Direction, I’ll admit for the first time here, I hated it. It was part way along the discussion of why an artist painted a sky blue that I realised how much I hated it! There is no need for that stupid discussion around artwork. Maybe, that artist painted the sky blue, because the sky is actually blue!?

img_1986-1However, it did make me realise and think one thing. Art shouldn’t be this high-brow, elitist subject. Most people have the ability to pick up a pencil and make marks across a page. And it is exactly this sentiment that makes me appreciate Dawby’s works and blog all the more. The enthusiasm to create and improve what she is drawing as a self taught artist. And this enthusiasm shows in the near daily updates (Which I look forward to seeing in my reader) and the exerts that express their opinions on the art piece.
I first came across their blog through the WordPress reader (which is an amazing tool img_1979-1when it comes to finding like-minded people) and they were drawing a series of houses and I liked their quirkiness and the colours used on the drawings. There is a magic in their creation and I love the personality that the houses have because of the choices that Dawby has made when creating them.

Dawby is on a wonderful, expressive journey with their art work and I find myself looking forward to her updates more and more to see which steps they take next and I really hope that you find as much enjoyment in their art and blog as I do.

Much Love
Jenn

Monsters! – Part 2

Hi Gang,

This week I’ve been working on a few more smaller character doodles. Seeing what I can make up with just a basic thicker outline and adding some details with a smaller fine liner. Just to see what funny monsters I can make up.

 

I hope you like them all. If you have a favourite be sure to let me know!

Much Love
Jenn