I hate to complain

I really do, but this is my blog so if I can’t vent my own thoughts here then where can I?

I have felt incredibly stale lately. Drawing and writing wise, I seem to have absolutely no ideas left for my last two images for my summer project. I’m incredibly restless and am also having trouble getting to sleep. I’m just not entirely certain on how to break through it all. Forcing myself I suppose; especially with starting in my final year next week.

Maybe my walk to the post office will make me feel better. Seeing as the whole grey cloud has made way for the Sun for once.



I look at some stock photography to further degrade my dA account with drawings of Rambo and can only see Rhodes in the poses I find.
I need to purge that man from my existence.

The worst kind of Monster

Waiting for ink to dry on scratchboard is one of the most dull things to do, so I thought I would write a blog post instead of watching it.

It’s taken me a while to get to this particular confession. The reason for that is because this one can still hurt.

For the longest time I have been completely haunted and tormented… and just by starting to write this post I can feel his oppression looming over me. He is just one of those characters that I love to detest. The tormenting is mutual and we will be the death of one another.

I am speaking on the entirely dreadful Captain Rhodes. And because he has played such a large part of my life. Here is a video of him.

I long ago came to the realisation that there is absolutely nothing likeable about the good Captain, but I like him anyway. There is a lot of support out there for him being all badass! Which is just brilliant. You go get them fans Rhodes! You’ll need them!

Whenever I have moved on from fangirling over Rhodes, (He always pulls me back) I always think about how well they can fight the guy off to give me some respite from his endless torments. Mostly they fail. This time round though, Rambo seems to be doing a darned fine job. (Ironically, the song that reminds me of Rambo just came on the radio!) As until now, I haven’t thought about Rhodes all that much.

If you wish to know some more about Kiz and Rhodes then this here, really sums them up. It was a commission, the first Fanfiction commission that I partook in, that was so well written I was floored! Maybe my opinion on it is biased though? It puts me in the mood to write again which I have not done for a long time now. So much left undone.

I have a pair of Dog Tags, which were made though some website, I forgot which, that belong to Rhodes. I used to wear them whenever I needed a reminder to stay strong and not give in to my own self crushing thoughts; which I am often over taken by. He helped me through a lot, but his help is nothing more than a dangerous any voodoo curse or zombie apocalypse. We shall have more fun times, I am certain.

Long Post

I had a couple of games this weekend. Another training mission against the Templars of Righteousness. It didn’t go overly well, but thankfully the Blood Guard Chaplain Master Uthor Fenix did go up to their Captain and just batter him a new one! Typical of Uthor really, plead ignorance to the mess that their numbers are doing to you Sergeants and go for glory! Still, it was the first time he had made an appearance in his nice new shiny Terminator armour. He loved it! I won’t go into to much detail of how quickly a lot of my heavy support was taken out in the first round of the game. (How does that even happen!? Poor leadership skills, that’s how!) It put the Blood Guard in for a set back for the entire game without that support and the Templars of Righteousness claimed victory.

After their training, it’s always a pleasure to go against our Battle Brothers, Hive Fleet Vespidae came for a rematch.
Clearly limber from their training. Uthor, still in his Terminator Armour and his 5 man Terminator squard, took down Two Carnifexes, a Hive Tyrant and its guard. Mostly due to them having little ripper swarms under foot and stabbing themselves in the face, but don’t tell Uthor that!
One of the Vanguard took charge of a smaller unit of assault squad today while Reid was recovering from injuries sustained during previous excursions. They did themselves proud and went Brain Bug hunting!
Sadly there were few other highlights to the battles, that I can currently remember. My nice new shiny Ironclad did very little both rounds as it just seemed to get hunted down. It’s glory will come!

In slightly other news. The Demo for Space Marine was downloaded, and my Goodness. That is a game worth Fangirling over! As if my Chapter didn’t get enough attention already!

The wedding was nice.


The hardest part of being a complete LYLO (Live your life Online) is the fact that you become close to people, and then like the wind they change and they’re gone.

I have met several people online, well, hundreds more like. Most of the people I know I have known for years. Some I have lost touch with and been reunited later down the road. Some have just vanished off the face of the Earth. It’s not all that reassuring knowing that one day you’ll wake up and another person you knew you’ll never see again.

Yet, is that so different from real life?
In my own humble experiences and those of others close to me. Not really.

I shall be back to fangirling next update.

Does anyone else have this?

I don’t know why, but I tend to remember a hell of a lot of the things I do online.
I remember pretty much everything that I roleplay out, or most of the people I meet. Even if I do not recall names all the time.

I remember one instance of Warcraft, where I was leveling my Hunter. Who is now 85, and this was back before the world changed for Cataclysm. She was one of my first characters as well… just to give you an indication of her age. There was a quest in which you have to kill the mayor of Hillsbrad, ad I got talking to this rogue. Just about general rubbish while we waited for the respawn. We grouped to make it easier. However, we were so busy talking to one another that we both got killed. It was rather funny and gave us a good laugh! But, why do I still remember it nearly three years later?

Yet, I cannot remember really important things in life… like peoples birthdays!?