Death Without End

My craziness got started.

I don’t want to post the typed out version on Blogger, but here is in it’s glory if you’re wanting a read of it.


I never needed approval from anyone but you.

Whenever I think of the song in my title, I automatically wonder if I need anyones approval or not.
I do what I do because I love doing it. That is the only incentive that I will ever need for doing anything. My passion for being a fan girl drives me onwards!

Yet, sometimes.
Just sometimes.
It isn’t enough.

Sometimes I stand like that indecisive suicide jumper at the edge of the cliff and need that little helping hand to jump off..

Maybe that wasn’t the right type of analogy to use. This is nothing like committing suicide. It’s just standing on the edge of something and not entirely certain that I have the confidence to plough right into it head first like I always do!

My OC Kiz, has needed a lot of work on as of late, and while I think I might have an idea to expand her story I don’t know if I have big enough balls to just run with the idea I have had or if I should just have a giggle at myself for being so crazy and move on.

I want a better life for Kiz. I want her to have something that she needs to cling to, to draw strength from while she deals with the abuse of Rhodes. I figure that something could be Rambo? In the craziest crossover ever dreamed up!

Is this a wrong thing for me to do?
Fangirls are meant to be that little bit mental.
Am I going to do it even though I may get flamed to high heaven.

So why the grumbling?

Sometimes, even if the idea is a little far out there it is really nice to hear someone say.
“I’ll support you.”

Crazy insane or insane crazy

As if I wasn’t mad enough.

Fangirl just had the most mental of ideas for a new Fanfiction.

I love crossovers, purely for their down right improbability. I am going to embark on a DotD/Resident Evil/Zombie Apocalypse/Rambo fanfiction.

Awwww Yeah!!


Mixed emotion

Today has been a day of ups and downs.
Music has got me through the daylight hours; it’s been a little turbulent, but then I guess this is what happens when you suffer from strange mood swings. It felt good to get my nose buried in work earlier on in the day. It was even pretty fun sitting on my own in the studio listening to the wonderful classics that Smooth Radio play.
This evening though, hasn’t been as good. I came home with every intention of doing some University theory work. Instead I sat on the sofa staring at the blank word pad open wondering how to start.
I know that as soon as I get my fingers dancing on the keyboard I’ll be fine, it’s just starting the dance.

I’ve also been missing my fictional husband a fair amount as well, as crazy as that sounds. It has been far too long since Johnny spoke to me, so I am going to go on a hunt and see what hole he has crawled into and dig him out of it later. I miss my War Vet and while I can understand that sometimes he needs to have his time alone; he needs to understand that I have needs as well.

And as the direct result of this blog post and feeling that missing feeling, I brought myself a Rambo poster and Mug… Thank you consumerism!!

What do you do…

What do you do when your feeling that little bit disconnected from the world?

Personally, I attach myself to another. Of course this world usually involves some sort of fan girly addiction. Something to obsess over and just generally distract yourself with.

So, where have I been this week?
All over the world!!
Chasing after sunken treasures and mysterious artefacts with non other than the gorgeous Judson Cross

I first discovered Adventure Inc some years ago while either recovering from a hangover one Sunday or while out of my face on various cough syrups. I can’t remember which one it was but I know I was unwell. I know this because while I have never once claimed Adventure Inc to be a brilliant TV series (I have actually often claimed “It’s so bad it’s almost good.”) I have always said it was a decent thing to watch on TV when I couldn’t be bothered to pick up the remote to change the channel.
However I recently (Read as: Months ago) downloaded the series after going off on a bit of a Biehn binge and am still trying to get through the rest of the series.

Despite the series painfully obvious flaws – Lack of Character development, predictable plots and some of the worst effects I have seen in a long time. I cannot help but love the show! It’s cheesy, but I love my cheese! I’d never stomp hard and defend it with any real vigour, but I’m not going to bad mouth the show any further. Actually, if anything I’d never speak about the series cause pretty much next to no-one has heard of the damned thing let alone seen it. I describe it as a “Very poor mans Indiana Jones” Though thus far there has been no sign of a bullwhip. And if your an avid reader of this blog, you’ll know my Fan Girly thoughts on Indiana!

It’s even a show where I actually like the female lead in it! Shocking as that may sound… of course I am envious she gets to cuddle up next to a naked Cross in one episode, but her other exploitations with other men just cancel that out anyway!!

So when I’ve been feeling a bit forlorn this week my ultimate in guilty pleasure has seen me through.