Being withdrawn from the world is so much easier then being a part of it.
But nowhere near as rewarding.

I hope to the high heavens that everything goes alright tomorrow. I get my results from University and although I’ve been putting on my brave face about it, I am rather worried. I feel that I need to do well, to prove to myself that I don’t suck as badly as I fear.

My home is now more or less set up and ready for me to get doodling again; which after painting tomorrow (weather providing) I shall certainly do. I feel very, very overdue for an art day.

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The clean up & 100th post.

The massive clean up of the house isn’t going too badly. I am rather sad that I’ve not actually come across any objects of days past fangirling though.

I have however taken the last few steps of letting go of someone; which was actually harder than I thought it would be. Sadly both my Tanto and my Virtue of Shadow trinket have gone the way of the dustbin. It was difficult to do so, but for the best. I’ve not spoken to the man who gave me these items in many years. We were never lovers; but the feeling of betrayal of a childhood friend never goes away. These few things were the last remains of the friendship that we once had. They are now gone and so is the burden of them.

I am still on the look out for other items to write about on here, so be prepared when I do find said things.

This is my 100th blog post.
*excited*
I wish I’d had something a bit more thrilling to write about!
I adore my blog, I really do. I love the non-sensical ramblings of the fangirl that I had become and the fact that I have influenced others to either join in, read or write their own ramblings.

I suppose the big news is that I am finally thinking of doing a small webcomic type thing about my ramblings. Which might interest a few of you! I know I have at least one follower/reader that will like this idea!
It’ll just be a simple thing, probably relating to my fangirliness; and hosted by a little toon version of myself. Thr hardest part will be finding a co-host.
I am uncertain of the particulars of webcomics and how they work, but it might be a fun adventure.

Until next time.

Why hello there

Doing a bit more writing today, it has been fun.
I also noticed that I’ve never actually shared a picture of my Warden Zindrafel.
I love visual things, that should go well without saying; so to have had a wonderful sketch of Zindrafel drawn and not to have shared it shocks me.

Artwork was done by the lovely Hotahmai.

What I’ve been writing lately has not only been her story with Alistair and “what happens next” but also some future stuff involving a visit to a friend in Kirkwall.
All fun and games here.

Hopefully I shall be able to get my teeth into some of my own artworks of Zindrafel and other Dragon Age characters, but at the moment writing has just taken over.

I rarely do this.

I don’t like to make my thoughts on political and world news known too much over the internet.

BUT

I shall make an exception this time.

There is a curent court case thats pretty high profile on the news at the moment. Involving Norwigian Breivik. I am not going to comment on the in depth thoughts and horrors of what this man has done, but point out three things that have come to my attention about him that related to my fangirliness. (No, I have not come down with Stockholm Syndrome or anything like that.)

1) He claims to be a member of The Knights Templar
2) He took a break from his political activism to play Warcraft.
3) His name is Anders.

Whats my point?
I don’t have one.

Apprehension, Fear and delusions

Thats a bit of a weighty title for my blog; but it is needed.
I’ve never hidden the fact that my blog is also my home for some of the thoughts that plague my mind; as well as the voices.

I’ve just moved out from the many years at University and in with my boyfriend. This should be a happy time, and for the most part it is; but there is that lingering horror that is the rest of my life being before me. What do I do now? I have ideas but nothing is ever set in stone. It’s a scary time. Thankfully I have had certain things to read to cheer me up.
One such thing is a carefully written gift from a fellow fangirl about my girl Zindrafel and Alistair in that alternative setting I mentioned a few posts ago. It’s lovely. It really is.
I shall ask permission before I link though; I think they wanted a level of anonimity.

My own workks of fiction are going a little slower, mostly due to the fact that I only just managed to get my laptop plugged in, but I may spend some time today writing as I wait for paint to dry!
Which suggests what else I have been doing with my time, painting.
I am also about due to paint another Templar as well as it feels like forever since I did.

A note on dreams.
Dreams are strange. They bring new voices, or make you question why some are talking to you.
I’ve never really felt any connection to this particular voice before; not in this form anyway.

In this particular bizzare subconcious, the good Doctor and I were good friends searching for something in dear old London. I can’t recall what it was we were looking for; I don’t think we really knew ourselves. It might have been something, or a someone. During our search we came across my real world friends; Zoe and Tim who took great delight in chastising me for never telling them I was friends with Dr. Who.
The following conversation after the introdutions were made and we’d departed their company was rather humorous. The Dr. told me that I couldn’t go around telling people we were “friends” because he couldn’t commit to anything like that; wide-eyed and slightly horrified he assumed that I’d thought something else I quickly denied I meant anything love related; that I was happily seeing someone. We then fell silent. Awkward.
Even my dreams taunt me with awkward relationships!!
(The radio just played the lyrics; “Dreams are the only place left to hide.” I can relate to that.)
It was interesting and very unexpected. I don’t know what I have done recently to deserve a visit from the Dr. He’s not exactly been on TV in this form lately.
Which reminds me of what I was going to mention earlier.
I did used to have a crush on Dr. Who a long time ago; and I can barely remember why or what I thought way back then. Looking on him now this incantation of Dr Who does have some sort of appeal, the whole victorian image is still something that I can admire and find attractive. All I remember from back then was having a poster up in my room.
I am toying with the idea of bringing my illustration/artwork to my blog here. So that there is only one entitiy of Jenn.
Thoughts?

Change happens

This topic seems to be on the lips of a lot of people in the world of Warhammer; and while that is understandable, it’s new and shiney afterall. There are really only three words of advice that I can give to people about the upcoming new rules. These are the same three words of advice that I can give about recent price increases from Games Workshop – Deal with it.

Guest Post: "Mr. Tall Dark and Brooding."

I have once again returned to relate to you of my own fangirliness. I always love guesting on here as it is a far cry from the seriousness of my actual blog and I get to admit/confess to things that I normally keep hidden from the world of the internet! So, here goes:

Roland Deschain – Get your sweet butt over here and start moving it!

That said, there is a lot that is not sweet about said character. In the Dark Tower series which I am currently reading, he acts in ways that are at best questionable and at worst, downright evil. It took me the first two books to work out whether I liked him. I don’t want to give anything away as I know the author of this blog is reading the books, all I will say is this: hang in there, he has his reasons and what you learn as you go through will make your heart bleed. I think part of the attraction is his mystery. You learn so little about him until the later novels and what he surrenders is hard won.


I know I like him because all you really want to do is give him a hug and tell him things will be OK in the end, even if they’re not, you just want them to be well. Another character I did this with recently was Rumplestiltskin from Once Upon A Time (Robert Carlyle). Speaking from general terms he’s a bit of a baddie, works for his own agenda and doesn’t mind screwing people over from time to time. However, in one episode we learn of how he came within a hairs breadth of redemption before throwing it all away in a moment of self-doubt. After all, how could anyone love a monster like him? How indeed? It tugged the frosty strings of my heart that’s for sure. Jenn has a long standing thing for Robert Carlyle (A little bit too scary for me – thanks Trainspotting) so I will let her inform you in a future post as to the why but I admit, in this particular show, I can see the attraction.


Can you? I will leave you with that thought for the time being, no doubt I will be back soon for another post and discussion about fangirling and the workings of the heart.