I don’t feel at all ready to face the day today.


Fantasy Battle

I had my… secondish,  ever game of Fantasy Battle last night.
I say isn’t, because I don’t actually know how many I’ve really played, they have been so few and far between.

It is an odd game, a lot longer and certainly more winded than my usual haunt of 40K.

I play Lizardmen, and while I enjoy my army; I am finding it difficult to connect with. As such I only have a few Skins painted, and they are painted pretty poorly due to the age of them… and none of them are based. This is mostly due to not know how to create a jungle scene for them; but there is now a new basing kit out (Or soon to be) which I will have a look at getting if I can get into the game and my army a bit more.

In other news, I was brought a nice shiny new gift for my Guardsmen yesterday; in the form of a Vendetta. It works perfectly well for my Guardsman theme (Aliens) as it looks a fair bit like the Drop Ship.

As always I shall try and provide a picture or two once it has been stuck together and got some paint on it.

Other than that it has been business as usual.


I feel like I should write a post, because I’ve not written one in a while.
I’m actually having a bit of a blank moment.

I’ll get back on top of things sooner or later; just been a little busy in the life department as of late.

Born to Die

So while way this weekend, staying with my parents again. I thought I would be able to start on “Before the Dawn” my Sebastian Vael fanfiction.

However I had a bit of a slap in the face from Nathaniel. Who just stormed up to me and demanded that I do some work with him instead. It was a bit of a shock to the system to have him being so bold.
It shouldn’t have been, he’s never been meek, but damn that was a bit of a kick!

I might try doodling him a bit later on, as well as writing the next chapter to his story; which I started a while ago.

This fine picture of Nathaniel was drawn by dA’s Cut-Box and is one of the finer pictures of Nathaniel I have ever seen. The artist got him almost perfect, he just tends to look down his nose a little more like the condesending ass-hat he is!


To try and get myself out of the hugest mental block ever; I emplyed the latest object of my fangirly obsessions.


Sebastian Vael; from Dragon Age fame.

It feels strange to finally come around to him. I’ve been quietly observing him for some time, but I can’t actually deny it anymore.
Sebastian is amazing!

I just want to go play Dragon Age over and over and romance him every time.

Lesigh, I know it’s my religion thing talking again, but I just cannot help myself.
Priests are hawt!

He was meant to look cute there, but I actually think he looks a bit creepy.

I did some drawing today.

With a pencil!

It felt amazing.

The inking wasn’t so amazing, thats a lot more difficult than I remember. I’ll have to find all my fine-liners again and get some smaller ones.
Still nice and productive day-off today. Always a good thing. I shall share them when I have them scanned in.

The truth is.
I have been hiding again.

From everything that I can.

It happens from time to time I suppose. We all have to have some time out.

There are some days where I just feel lost, others where I feel so angry at everything. I don’t know why, but my frustration seems to get directed at the people who don’t deserve it.
Sorry for that.

I guess sometimes, if would just be nice to have someone ask if I am alright; and for me to be able to answer honestly.
I’m not okay.

I’m scared to death about the future; and the inevitable events that are going to happen.

Someone I know lied to me today. I know they did. They did it for the attention, to make what happpened to them seem harsher. I know that bullying is bad already; theres no need to embelish it further by lying to the people that do care about you.
Especially when you know the person your speaking with it going through some things themself.
Ah well, I guess at the end of the day I’m not the one who will end up alone. I should have learned about them by now.

I should be happy, I know that. I’m doing something fantastic and amazing, but at the same time I feel like the world is tearing apart. The one thing that you thought would be there forever won’t be.

This all sounds rather dramatic I know; but I’ve always found journals helpme sort things out and I’ve been keeping this on board for a while now. So it’s my way of getting it off my chest. Typing stuff; even if you have no intention of publishing it just helps you be relieved of it.

In other news I have been RPing as Frey again.
I’ve always enjoyed the character, so it’s nice to get a bit of time on him again.

Best be off.