Celebrate the small

I had a bad afternoon today.

I tried doing some drawing and I told myself that it was too soon and that I wasn’t ready for it again – nor for the wave of bad feeling that came over me after I put the picture down.

I was overcome with negativity that brought my entire afternoon down – thinking what I had created didn’t look good enough. Whatever that means. And I just dwelt on the fact that the picture hadn’t turned out as I wanted it too and that I shouldn’t have bothered trying to draw again so soon into my ‘Artistic Recovery.’

I shouldn’t have been thinking this way and celebrated the fact that I had actually picked up my pencils and done a little bit of sketches. It’s all about bringing light and creating a little bit each day – improvement will come with time, effort and patience; like it has done prior to this.

I just wanted to write this and remind myself that it’s all about small steps and growing little by little; rather than beating myself up just because something didn’t look right.

I’ll bounce back soon enough and be dazzling you all with the wonderful things that I can create soon enough, but for now I have to be gentle with myself and not to harsh over the fact that a small thing didn’t look right or how I imagined it would.

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The reason I’ve been ‘off’

I wasn’t sure if I should write this blog entry or not, but I’ve always felt like I should speak my mind as it has always helped me to recover and recuperate from my negative experiences in the past. Actually, this entry is a mirror from my journal over on DeviantArt and while over there, I don’t feel like I can name who this is about; my blog is my ‘safe space’ and I can easily point that this journal is about DrPStripes on DeviantArt

Something has been going on lately between myself and a former friend that has left a bitter feeling behind.

The aspect of this that makes it difficult to talk about openly, if one of the major points that had become a problem. The former friend had added (more or less) all of my other friends here on DeviantArt and twitter that either draws or has ever drawn anything related to anthro and furry art. At first, this felt like it was good fun; building a little community around us, but then it just got a bit strange. They would talk with friends of mine that I have known for over 14 years that don’t even draw anymore, trying to get them to do art trades with them or draw gift art for them and make them feel really uncomfortable with dragging up the past for them – and drawing the wrong characters for them as their Fursona, but that’s another point – which didn’t sit very well for me as I felt somehow responsible for the fact that I had mentioned them once in a conversation about anthro art and my original influences; which I figured was a safe conversation to have. Clearly not.

I know I can’t control what other people do, but it really felt like classic stalker tactics. Adding all my friends and trying to push the people I am close to out of my life. There was some drama started by this former friend between my sister and I when they messaged her accusing her of tracing artwork with the adage of ‘Jenn said you traced’ (paraphrasing) thankfully my sister and I are really close and the plan to tear us apart backfired.

Another tactic of control was to draw art for me and call it a Trade; even though we never agreed to do such a thing – it felt like a way to get free art from me or to back me into a corner making me wonder if we HAD agreed to another trade or not – it is something that I noticed he was doing with other people which was the only way I felt free from my confusion. There were other instances where when talking about trades the adage of ‘we can do one/something’ about them and when I did say no, I was met with one word answers and guilt trippy replies like ‘oh’ or ‘k’ which made me feel bad for having said no. Something that I already struggle with. They even went so far as to ask if his Fursona could have a crush on one. While telling me he fancied another of our friends.

There was a conversation between us that enlightened me to his egotistical attitude too, which had somehow evaded me in the years we had been friends. The statement of ‘Why do people flock to me like I am some sort of Art Messiah’ things were already getting difficult to cope with at this point, but calling yourself an art God when your art is average didn’t sit too well with me. I don’t understand how someone can adopt such a ‘holier than thou’ attitude towards art when everything looks rushed – but maybe my bitterness is clouding my judgement.

I don’t know if I should speak of others experiences with this guy, but I am not the only one who has issues with their attitude and behaviour. There are ex-friends who are constantly blasted and have to suffer his ‘wrath’ and current friends who are going through the ‘trade’ confusion.

it has honestly felt a bit like a nightmare lately and I am glad that we’ve parted ways so I don’t have to hear how great his sub-par characters are anymore or that he is better at art then other artists I have since come to appreciate and admire, who I didn’t feel like I could before cause it would have upset this former friend.

What the issue is now, is that because he has become mutual with more or less everyone I know on here (that does anthro art) it feels like he is unavoidable, even though he is blocked on here. (And everywhere else as far as I know) Which makes coming here fill me with terrible anxiety. im trying to work my way through it, but it’s difficult after such an all consuming part of dA.

Ive not mentioned this former friend by name, because of the mutuals we share, but I’d be happy to let you know via note if you wish to know.
If you feel you know who it is, I’d rather not have to deal with any fallout from this as this journal was purely written to help me feel better and get things off my mind that we’re keeping me awake at night.

Ill probably add to this when I feel like I need or want to say more about my experiences.

Here we go again…

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This little gem came to my attention quite by accident – being told by a friend over on DevArt – and because nothing gets Fangirl going more than the dangled carrot of promise about more official Rambo content.

I am always really skeptical when it comes to more Rambo, the last time I went hunting for information on future instalments I ended up buying a really terrible rail shooter called Rambo:The Video Game. But the image above was first shown on Stallones official Instagram account, so there must be some truth in it, right? I mean, the big man himself wouldn’t tease us with false promises when it comes to something so… important.

My gut reaction was a general mixture of excitement and trepidation; because I have been here before. Hopeful that Rambo V will come along and been shown the middle finger for my crimes. I’ll keep my fingers crossed that this new image and information sticks about and something comes of it, but I won’t hold my breath.

rambo-5-movie-poster

Friday Feature – Qwaychou

This weeks Friday Feature is from Qwaychou

Artist showcase! Share with us: Your favourite images

1. What compelled you first start drawing and creating?

I’ve been drawing all my life, I was born with tonsillitis, so to keep me quiet my mother would have me color in books or draw to keep me occupied.

2. Do you have any future plans for your artwork?

I used to have huge aspirations, but my health has demoted me to hobby artist. I do want to do some badge work, as we already have a laminater and small laminates.

3. What sort of media do you use to create your artwork? How long does it take you to complete a piece of artwork?

I like to use bristol cardstock and I use micron inkpens and prismacolor pencils. It takes me about 10-12 hours from concept to finished piece.

4. What inspired you to draw? Do you admire any other artists?

I get inspiration from many things, from fashion magazines, to artist pose files. I admire many artists, too many to name, but I would have to name Xa-Xa-Xa  on deviantart as a favorite.

5. Do you have any tips for any aspiring artists – beyond the usual ‘practise daily’? (These tips don’t have to be art creation related.)

Get your hands on a good anatomy book, that is the thing that I see most artists struggling with is proper anatomy. Use references for aspects of your art that you have problems with, even I still have problems with this, as I need to work on my backgrounds, so I should be using reference for some landscapes.

6. What is your fondest artist memory? (eg – An art trade you were really proud of/pleased with, your first commission, etc)

Wow, where to start, I remember my first ebay auction for my artwork, probably 25 years ago? I’ve been a guest at some conventions, and I won a ton of their contests for tshirt and program cover designs. I won a couple awards during my anime convention days, and I used to win a bunch of coloring contests when I was a kid.

7. Anything else you would like to tell our readers?

Draw for yourself, don’t draw what you think people want to see, when you do that, it becomes a job, and it shows in your creativity. Art is individual, draw what you want to see on paper.


 

Many thanks to Qwaychou for taking the time to answer these questions for the Friday Feature and if you’d like to be featured on the blog then please, don’t hesitate to get in contact.

Miokath Reconfigured

Miokath Reconfigured

I wanted to give Jenn an alternative coat that was much more ‘goth’ than her own pink and blue; but I like pink and blue!
I also wanted to ‘revamp’ Miokath again; who is the Cenobite version of Jenn.
So I figured why not roll both into one?

Miokath is the ‘persona’ that I have paired up with Pinhead – he stole a part of her soul when he went on a date with her and this is what he ended up creating from that part of her soul.
A play thing to twist to his own ends.

Scan 90
Because Miokath is based off Jenn, her reconfiguration is based on my own fears of blindness and losing the use of her hands.
I’m pretty pleased with how this turned out, especially seeing as it’s based on art from 2006!

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Initial Sketch of Miokath from 2006

I feel so alone on a Friday night

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A picture for :iconhorrorlandcop74: of our Ghost OC’s Kiz and Betty~

I figure, Betty being as elegant and glamorous as she is would take it upon herself to tell her that ghosts can actually wear clothes and here, Kiz is grinning about being naked! I should have added a bit of a blush to her cheeks or something…?

I don’t know, I just picture Better being the sort to wear pretty dresses as often as she can and Kiz… not!

I also figure this is early on in their encounters too, before Kiz meets Fatso, Stretch and Stinkie. I picture Betty being the one to make the introduction to the Trio!
She’d have met Dr. Harvey though and still coming to terms with being dead.

It’s rather fitting uploading a pair of ghosts on Friday 13th!!
I hope you like it hun~
:heart:

Jenn Goth

JennGoth

It’s been a while since I drew a new picture of Jenn, so here she is in all her cheesy, Gothy glory!
I swear Jenn, you’re too brightly coloured to be a ‘real’ goth!
Maybe I should give her an ‘alternative’ colour palette in one picture all, red and black and proper goth!!
Honestly though, I love her this way.
:heart:
There are several ‘nods’ to fandoms in here that I was once connected too (ish) the red and green arm bands being from Freddy Krueger and the Lament Configuration around her neck~

Also, needed a new picture for my page, as the only one that looked half decent before was the one of her in the world ugliest dress!!