Getting closer

tac2

Please forgive me while I shed a bit of a tear over this one.
This is the last tactical squad I am ever going to glue together (For the time being at least, but I don’t foresee my starting another Battle Company in a hurry)

It’s one of Games Workshops older kits; but I was pleasantly surprised how little anger and frustration there was in it’s construction. I recall these being a complete pain in the rear end when it came to arms and guns! But this was pretty easy going – aside from the Plasma Gun dude. He was excruciating when it came to being a pain in the rear end.

Giving credit where it’s due, my husband converted the Plasma Canon dudes arm, I think another missile launcher heavy would have made me cry.

bikes1

In the grand scheme of sticking things together for my chapter – I’ve got a handful more bikes to do.

Then, I’ll be praying for some nicer weather to get some things base coated so I can power through the painting process and have something really worth-while to share.

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Painting Challenges

painting log

Sadly, I don’t recall where I picked this image up. So I can’t link back to the creator of it – which I like to do when it comes to these creative things.

But I though I would share it all the same as I know I have a few followers on here that might benefit from this – I know I’ll be printing one of these off as soon as I am ready to start the painting process after doing all my sticking.

Just thought I’d share, incase you’re interested.

Fame, a last!

Sml DPI PFSM

I had the great fortune to be able to commission Blazbaros recently. They are an artist that I have admired for a fair while, so I was over the moon to be able to purchase some artwork from them.

Needless to say I am thrilled with the end results too.
I love his expression so much. Haha. “If I squint hard enough, looks like Heresy.”

But, yes this is an official showing off post that I felt I should share with everyone, incase they like the artwork enough and want to work with Blaz.

Let’s get Tactical – Update

DSC02712

One down, one to go!
I honestly can’t believe that I’ve only got one more Tactical Squad to get stuck together.

It’s an older kit, so I am not looking forward to it as much as I have been the other additions to the Battle Company.

After that, it’ll be a heap of Biker dudes and that’s it. Done. I’m starting to feel like I am accomplishing something!

Then, starts the daunting tasks of painting models again – it’s been a good while and I am often overwhelmed by feelings on inadequacy when I paint; just got to keep it in mind that I am painting for myself and my own pleasure, nothing else.

Some self reflection

I took a step back from the internet – I’ve always had some sort of presence on social media – when my Husband finished work for the Christmas break on the 15th of December. I was using some websites pretty avidly in the month or so before this date and honestly, I was feeling like it was taking over my life (again)

The break has been welcome and now I am looking over my actions with hindsight I can see how badly I was using the internet and social media; I was in the grips of addiction. The decision to take a step back was both welcome and eye-opening.

I took a quick peep on my dA account while I was writing this post; as that’s the place that I have been most active and it’s all doom and gloom. People threatening to kill themselves over (honestly) the dumbest stuff ever and all I want to do is scream at them to get a grip! I think, in part, it’s because that now I am a bit older I don’t really feel like I fit in with the younger people on there these days. Where issues like, Apu from the Simpsons suddenly being outed as a racist character, seem to be more relevant and important to discuss than third world poverty. Or where the ability to pick and choose ones gender on a whim seems more un/acceptable than the so-called rape culture we live in. I am generalising for emphasis here; but these are the things that I was encountering daily on the wider internet. And also being labelled a stalker for reading the pages of another persons blog  – surely, that is what a blog is for? Reading?

Needless to say, it all just became too much and the decision to leave it all behind was a welcome one.

But, what am I thinking of now that I am in the midst of this break? I’ve used the internet to define a large part of who I am for a very long time. Websites, like DeviantArt have been the platform for my voice and my art for the past 14 years – longer than some of it’s users have been alive – so I have been left to do a serious amount of thinking. If I leave these social media sites behind me I know I will overall be happier and leave a more fulfilling life and I won’t be carrying around this addiction anymore. Yet, I would cut off some people I have known for a very long time, people I see as good friends and some of the only social interaction I get sometimes. I know I’d hear a lot less from some important people in my life – to the point where I doubt I would hear from them at all.

Do I stay in a place that ultimately isn’t good for me, but gives me a platform to express my creativity and gives me contact with people. Or, do I use the internet and the social platforms I have to keep in touch with people and express my creativity at the expense of my mental health?

I can see pros and cons for either side of the argument and I am thankful that I have enough time to ponder the conundrum for a while longer before the husband returns to work and I am left more or less alone with these thoughts.

I am thinking that there must be a healthy medium somewhere, but considering how the internet feels like an addiction surely using just one website (including my blog) is like an alcoholic or drug addict saying ‘One won’t hurt?’

Weekend Sketches

Sketches from this weekend.

I was away from home but took a my sketchbook with me and managed to be extremely self indulgent when it came to drawing!

It was really nice to be able to give a bit of love to my own characters for once – I’ve actually been falling in love with my own art style recently; because I feel like I have been putting a lot of hard work into drawing lately and pushing my drawing in the direction I’d like to take it.

I know what I need to work on as well, which is always something worth knowing.

It feel really good to finally feel settled in what I am doing when it comes to artwork.

So here we have;

  • Amnion Bust – Amnion is a character I adopted aaaaaages ago from Boltbunny on Furaffinity. I don’t even have the original images of him anymore (sadface) and I’ve only recently remembered about him. He was a lot of fun to draw
  • Demitri – I’ve been thinking up an Alternative Universe for some of my characters which is set in the mental hospital PillsBrooke Hospital and all the characters there are seen through the eyes of Devon (Who is pictured next) and Demitri is the GP there, but seeing as Devon hates him, she sees him more of a vintage Dr/Sawbones.
  • Devon – All Glamfur’d and everything. I’ll write another post in a little bit about Glamfur~
  • I Zombie – I don’t remember when I last drew I Zombie; probably last time I saw Circus of Horrors. I was wondering how I could get him into the same AU mentioned above, what I could do to change him and honestly, the answer is nothing!! Story wise, I think he’s Devons psychologist and cause she thinks he is amazing, she sees him the way he has always been to me.
  • Jenn – Here she is with her old Jenntula look. Honestly, I just wanted to draw her hair that way again.

 

Dear Future Jenn

Dear Future Jenn,

I know you’ll look back in a few years time and think ‘What the Hell was I thinking?’ You’ll be feeling guilty that you spent your spare time drawing, and it’ll probably be the only thing that you’ll really remember from this period in your life.

But, try to push that strange, guilty feeling of ‘I didn’t do enough,’ aside and try and remember a few other points.

Like, most of the time it feels like you’re in this alone. Sure, you’re married and have a loving, caring husband – but during the day it’s just you. Doing everything. On your own. There wasn’t anyone you can impose upon a ten minute walk away to get things off your mind, or hand Marcus over to play with for a while so you can clear your thoughts – it was just you and the house and the dog and Marcus.

Also, remember you went to baby groups three or four times a week to play with different toys and so that Marcus could interact with children his own age and start being a social little Mr. And, because of the choices you made, you got to be a part of that and enjoy that time with him. Not everyone gets to witness their child growing up and to personally take them to such places – this was a good thing for the both of you and don’t worry too much that you didn’t get close to any other Mums, you were there for your son during his formative years.

Remember that you tried to make the most of the time you had together; remember the trials and the anger and the guilt, but remember more that you did your best. Yes, you did a lot of drawing during this time, but that was a sort of therapy to you. You drew because it helped you to forget that you felt lonely and isolated – drawing for people online made you feel like there were people that you could talk too; even if it was fleeting it helped you too cope with the trivial day to day struggles that you couldn’t get off your chest any other way.

It was difficult enough, without you beating yourself up over it now.

Also remember, you wrote this on a particularly bad day in the best and worst month in the year, but you got through it again – it won’t always feel this gloomy!


Past Jenn