Inquisitor Jenn and Heretic Deb

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It’s only been a few weeks since I drew anything like this and I already feel well out of practise.

But here we are, some fan art for Inquisitor Jenn and Heretic Deb who are characters over on Abaddon and Teal

I know it’s not my best work, but it felt nice to draw something Hobby related again after the few Primarchs I drew – which I will resume when I am feeling less ‘out of practise’

There is another thought to add to this post though and I hate to drag down a gift-art post, but it’s sorta, maybe relevant?
Since picking things back up here and getting back into the hobby full swing, I’ve honestly questioned myself. For a while I wanted to be seen as a credible and ‘real’ artist. But, what does that even mean? Am I less of an artist because I draw characters in the way that I do? I think it speaks volumes the amount of time I’ve been drawing characters; it’s something that I always return to and yet, I’ve always held this overwhelming sense of shame with it – maybe because I know there are a lot better people out there at it than I am. But, does that matter? Clearly, this is where my soul keeps returning.
Sure, I like painting and dabbling in other things, but try as I might to deny myself the chance to draw characters, I return to it. Always. There has to be something in that?

Then there is that ‘elephant in the room’ does everything have to come down to money?

If I am happy drawing characters, why am I trying to replace it with something else?

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Let’s get Tactical

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A little bit of progress made last night on my 4th Tactical Squad – this is the newer kit that I’ve put together, mostly because I am still feeling a bit of dread when it comes to the other kit I have; flashbacks to terrible arms and bolt-guns.

But, it’ll get done.

I’ve got the more ‘interesting’ guys of this squad to put together still. The Sergeant, who I’d like to have a Power Fist and Bolt Pistol.

The Heavy and Special weapons guys I am currently undecided about; so I’ll have to see what comes with the kit and see what I like the looks of. (As well as have a think about how I’d like the unit to function if/when they get used.)

So, yep, just wanted to give a really quick update on how things are progressing while I could – I know this is leaving me with a lot to paint, but I know I am going to feel amazing when I’ve got everything stuck together; it’ll be such a hobby landmark for me~

Primaris Intercessors

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I admit, I have been really slow on the uptake when it comes to the ‘new’ Primaris Marines.

These five are the first I’ve brought – mostly from a ‘fluff point of view, my thoughts being that messing about with the Gene-Seed sounds a bit on the heretical side; but I guess if Guilliman says it’s okay, then I guess it’s okay?

Just hasn’t sat too well with my Chaplain Chapter Master..

But, the thought of sticking yet another normal tactical squad together just filled me with dread, so I brought the smaller Combat Squad box (which was an awesome idea to release cause it’s made the army more affordable to expand!)

Also, while looking for some of my artwork relating to my Chapter I found this picture:

Logan Kemplar

And it made me feel a little sad that I don’t have a closer network of people to share this stuff with since withdrawing myself from the net. I guess that’s a choice I made, but I was momentarily tempted to try again on twitter. I know people on there are welcoming, but I still feel it’s a step to far for me at the moment. A big part of coming back to the blog was to keep the internet-ty-ness at bay. Fundamentally, I know I have very different opinions on life and the way the world is viewed when compared to the vast majority of the internets user-base (At least it seems) but I am not the inherent evil that these people judge me to be. Sorry, not sure where that came from, maybe just the mentioning of Twitter! Looks like, I’m not ready to re-try yet after all!

In other news, I am currently discussing an art commission with one of my favourite artists – so I am really excited about that, I’ll keep you updated on it. Feels like a long time since I was excited about commissioning someone else~

Well, I’ve got some more sticking to get done, so post you again soon.

The final few

I bit the bullet today and brought the last two pieces for my Battle Company. I know I said I wasn’t going too, but I thought, ‘You know what, it’d be an amazing milestone to be able to get the last few in the house and ready to join the rest of the guys.’

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I know it’s not much to look at, but my last Troop choices.

A pack of 10 standard Tactical Marines and 2 Primaris Intercessors.

I’m not really sure how I feel yet about Primaris Marines worming their way into the chapter, but I thought they would be a bit more interesting from a hobby point of view compared to putting together yet another standard Tactical Marine Squad. I know there are different Marks of armour available, but they didn’t seem to fit the theme.

So, that’s where I stand at the minute!

And right after visiting the local Games Workshop I went to Wilkos to buy a heal of Loctite!

Time to get cracking!

Vanguard Vets

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Well, since my last update thing have been powering ahead and I have managed to get a step closer to my Space Marine chapter being completed.

I am in the frame of mind now that if I get them all stuck together then I’ll be in a better position to get them all painted – then I won’t feel as guilty buying the last remaining pieces for the Battle Company and I’ll finally be finished with them (Until I start the next company or the whole chapter or something)

I have had these beautiful models in the box for a couple of years, I think, but not wanted to do anything with them. Mostly for lack of confidence in knowing how to equip them and thus knowing how to stick them together. So the first step was to look through the Space Marine codex and figure out how I could legally equip them. With the choices in mind it was then fun looking through the sprues and finding the nicest looking bits that fitted in with the chapter aesthetic.

And then the sticking!

So, my Vanguard Vets consist of

  • Sergeant with Relic Blade and bolt pistol
  • Chain sword and Plasma pistol
  • Power sword and bolt pistol
  • Pair of lightening claws
  • Power fist and storm shield.

All of them have jet packs, because why wouldn’t you give them jet packs!?

I had a set of Vanguard Veterans before, but they were metal models. I’ve not got many metal models left in my collection purely for the fact that they kept falling over, bits fell off and the paint chipped, so it’ll be nice to be able to paint them up and use them again – they were always a bit over-prices points wise, but they were once a stable part of my artillery; mostly because I like assault marines and wanted to have something a bit more ‘special’ to go along with them.

So, yeah, that’s (finally) an actual Wargaming Hobby update. Hurrah!

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Hobby Thoughts

As I mentioned previously, I wanted to use this blog as a place to get some thoughts and feelings out into the air and this one has been weighing pretty heavily on me recently and I know as soon as I’ve gotten them off my chest I’ll feel a lot better about it and be able to finally move on from the heavy burden that it has become.

I was talking the dog for a walk recently with my son and husband and I was talking about how I felt about the Wargaming hobby at the moment and what has been acting as a block when it comes to my creativity for it. In short, there’s been some emotional pain and resentment when it comes to picking up the hobby once again. Feelings of inadequacy and just general anger; but out of this conversation came the summary that I can’t let other people ruin something I once enjoyed – especially when I am so close to completing my Space Marine company!

A good place to go when struggling with hobby stuff is to get everything out on the table and see where you are with it all. With my husbands help I figured out I was only two tactical squads away from finishing the Blood Guard 4th Company! (Although, some of the ones I have currently are in need of sticking together still and others need finishing off.) But it still feels like something of an achievement for me – so I am thinking of how I can get back into the painting and playing side of the hobby. Too long have I blamed my procrastination on ‘Not having enough time’ but being able to voice the reason behind my reluctance to take part in the hobby feels refreshing; even if I have skimmed on the details.

So, I took a little jaunt over to games-workshop and am ‘treated’ to an eye full of maggot infested wounds and bloated tummies. My stomach churns and I recall the hatred I have for everything Nurgle. Just to feel a connection again is wonderful.

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It has been far too long since I did anything Games Workshop, let alone 40K. So I think this evening I’ll move my easels to the side and see if there is anything I feel like working on.

I admit, this didn’t work to well the other day when I took some of my Imperial Guard off the shelf and looked at them. I just had this overwhelming feeling of abandonment due to outside influences.

Moreover, it feels amazing that these feelings of ‘I want to do stuff’ come from within me and inspirational sources being rediscovered – I am currently reading Promethean Sun, which I grabbed off the bookshelf cause it is small and will be an much easier and better read that the drivel I just endured. So. No. You can’t try and take credit for what I am reaping for myself. Sorry.

New Year, New Fangirl?

Hello everyone.

And a happy (belated) New Year to you all.

I hope you’re all recovered from eating too much chocolate and drinking too much alcohol!

We are now back into the usual routine of Toddler Group in the mornings, thankfully, and blogging in the early afternoon while my son sleeps. Or in the evening while he sleeps.
Things have changed a little bit around here since the end of 2017. I voiced my concerns with the internet as a whole and my use of it in my previous post and for a while I made my blog private and hid everything from view. But, after some thinking I have decided to keep the blog about and keep on updating.

But as I just mentioned, I have made a few changes. I’ve made a dedicated Abstract art blog called Art Enlightenment and a dedicated book ‘review’ blog called  The Eternal Bookcase. This is so that I can have special places for these two aspects of my interests. For a while, I was left wondering what I could use this blog for. I know I have often been confused while updating this blog because I don’t really know it’s purpose.

But then I was wondering about with Marcus and thinking about some things that were once pretty important to me and realised that I no longer have an outlet for them. Hobby stuff, like Wargaming, Roleplaying and Video gaming. But more than that a personal space to write down and vent my thoughts. Really the inner workings of an over-thinker and generally the additional parts of my personality that make me… me.

So I figured I should use this blog, as well as for my hobbies, but also for my unpopular opinions and somewhere to write down what I am thinking and how I am feeling.

I am not sure quite how I feel about running three different blogs as I’ve struggled with it in the past, but there is no harm in giving it a try. I know the book ‘review’ blog is more of an ‘as and when’ I finish a book update deal. The painting I am trying to keep going as much as possible. As for this place, I need to go through my categories and have a good old fashioned spring clean (Remove the book reviews stored here over to The Eternal Bookcase) and just generally get back into the swing of things again.


Jenn