Just the other day, I went on this lament about how I was no longer in love with something that had once completely lit up my world and life. How I was so disconnected with this thing and how that made me feel; horrible and a like I was a fraud. It was a terrible realisation to come across. And for once that I couldn’t blame it on the grey, dull weather; as I was sitting outside watching my son playing in his sand pit. I honestly wanted to break down and cry. I felt like I had betrayed art somehow and that I was at a total loss of how to cope with this sudden loss of something that had once meant so much to me.
So, I did what I always do when faced with a problem such as this. I tried to level out my over thinking and am trying to enact some changes in my life that will allow me to face artwork and everything that goes with it again.
I made this blog to try and ‘document’ the artistic journey that I am about to embark on so that I can keep a record of my thought process and the things I will learn. Also with this journey I am hoping to experience more and make a lot of positive changes in my and my sons life. One of my greatest fears is that I will be a terrible role-model for my son and he will grow up resenting or hating me for ‘not doing enough’ with/for him. So this artistic journey is two fold; find my love for art again and develop into the person that I want to be.
The first step in this journey was popping down to Bury Town Library and get some books relevant to the direction in which I would like to go. (As well as a couple of fiction books)
I’ll take a gander through these books and report back my findings and experiments in future posts.
For the time being, I admit I am somewhat nervously excited about this little journey and where it will take me. It’s not the first time I have tried to do something like this; but there is a determination in how I am feeling towards it this time. After the trip to the library I popped into the local coffee shop for a cup of tea. It’s a bit of an ‘artsy’ place called Ground Up. I discovered that they are having an Open Mic night, which I am tempted to try and get along too – just to see what it’s all about as I’ve not been to one before; but I thought it might be a nice way to meet people and connect with like-minded people. Even if I don’t make it, it’s the ability to notice these things that I need to grip once again. Somehow, get a bit more involved in my own life, rather than just drifting and wallowing in this fog of bitterness.
Until next time.