Hesitation.

I’m finding myself questioning everything that I am doing lately. 

I’ve had a few thoughts and idea that I would like to give a try. Namely a blog for my Blood Guard Space Marine army – I had a blog for them before but I deleted it a while back – I’m also toying with the idea of maybe trying out a photography critic blog.

But I’m hesitating and doubting myself over them. 

I don’t know why. 

I don’t feel like I am authority enough in either subject to make it work. I’m still facing that feeling of ‘What’s the point’ I mean, time is limited enough already and I just don’t know if I feel enough of a pull to do it. 

I want too, but right now I am finding it a lot easier staying blocked from everything creative. That way I’m not opening my heart to anything too critical. Guarding myself for anything harmful. I still feel like I need to keep myself guarded and safe.

Yet at the same time I can almost feel my brain rotting from ‘watching’ too much daytime tv and vaguely playing games with the kiddo. 

I’ll be trying to think a bit more about what I would like to do and where I’d like to take things. Who knows maybe if I find a moment of strength i will pursue both ideas and just see how they go. It’s strange, I’m usually the person that tells people to go ahead with their creative adventures and see how they get on. I really should listen to my own advice sometimes. 

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