I’ve been thinking of what to write so that I can update my blog for a while now as at the moment I don’t feel like I have that much to say about anything at all.
In honesty, I’ve been feeling a little deflated with most things that I am doing for myself. I made the silly mistake of trying to open up one of my projects to someone else and it didn’t really work out. With the sniff of roleplay all conversations with this friend turned into ‘When are you going to reply to our RP?’ Which, for me, is an instant killer for anything creative in the writing/RP department. So I didn’t reply to conversation (or the RP) because I didn’t feel like getting into an argument over the internet about it all! This resulted in me being unfriended – even though we’d been ‘friends’ for a long time. I find it all rather silly, but being open about it, I am rather glad that the toxic friendship is over.
I’ll be honest, I’ve struggled with getting to grips with Roleplaying for a while and was actually excited that I might get the chance to stretch my writing skills on an original character that I rather enjoy, so yet another negative experience when it comes to RP has soured my tastes for it even more.
Worse though, it has left me with that same sour taste to do anything involving my ‘Alternate Universe’ as the character I was roleplaying as was from my AU. I’ve tried drawing the characters a few times but nothing good has come of it. Which is bugging me, because less than two weeks ago I was really excited to be able to develop my characters again in a different way. I know I need to look past what happened so that I can move on from it, which is why I am writing about it here – writing it down and putting it to history might help after all.
I think what also doesn’t help is that I would love to draw characters interacting with one another, but am sadly stuck in the realm of pin-ups and bust drawings.
Which sort of works well for me in some respects – I like what I draw, but wish that I could illustrate my ideas properly.
I just need to get the spark back for doing my own thing again. It’ll come. Until then, I guess I’ll be drawing pin-up fan art and boobs!