I’ve needed to have a vent for a little while now, so excuse me while I do so.
I don’t know what it is about me but I have discovered lately that I seem to attract people of a certain type. This obviously doesn’t got for all the people I am friends with. Thank Christ. Just a handful. I’ve found that this handful of people are pretty much self obsessed.
All they can see and think of are their own needs, worries, concerns complaints and lives. So much so that they don’t even bother asking how their friends are in a greeting. I am by no means a selfless person, but is it selfish to want to be asked how my day is going before someone unloads all their crap onto my shoulders?
I don’t mind listening at all, but I don’t want to go unheard myself. A friendship should work both ways, but lately I’ve noticed with a few friends that it doesn’t. I’ve even given a lot to these friends, be it physical objects that cost money, or have sentimental value. Something small that makes them feel better, generally just been what I figure a good friend is. Yet, it’s very, very rarely returned. Actually, I can’t think of a single case where one of these particular people in mind have gone; “Here Jenn, I brought you something.” And I’ve actually recieved said item.
It makes me wonder, what am I doing wrong to be with people that need to belittle their friends (Yes, this has happened) in order to make themselves feel good about themself? What is it about me that attracts people that need to be the centre of everything and why can’t I just find people that appreciate me for who I am and don’t want to walk all over me; or make me feel worse on an already bad day cause they never bother to ask?
I honestly wish I could find the strength to tell these people that I was done with them, that I’d be better off without them in my life. But how?